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Do animals get grumpy?

Are there certain days when your cat or dog is more irritable than others? Do creatures in the wild go through mood swings? Or is it just humans?

I ask because I read this week about Cathal Morrow, an author living in Madrid. Back in June he embarked on a quest to live for a year without unhappiness, in an attempt to prove happiness is merely a state of mind.

 

As he writes on his blog, http://imhappyandiknowit.com/:

“What I’m attempting to live is my belief that happiness is entirely independent of the highs and lows of my little life, that it’s far bigger than me. That happiness is a permanent state for us all, if only we allow it to be.”

Being happy. We’re all looking for it, aren’t we?

Yet that appears to be the root of the problem. We’re searching for it, as if happiness is a destination that will be reached once we’ve got X, Y and Z in place.

Thanksgiving

It’s an important issue, brought into focus by this week’s Thanksgiving celebrations in the United States.

While it began as a festival giving thanks for the year’s harvest, Thanksgiving has since developed into a more general expression of gratitude.

And therein lies Mr Morrow’s secret to happiness – a determination to see the everyday brightness in life and be happy for it.

Seeking a better life

Which brings me to moving abroad.

Why is it so many people around the world – including millions of citizens in some of the most prosperous countries on the planet – want to relocate elsewhere?

For most people the interest is spurred by a desire to find a “better life,” whatever their definition may be.

Many are stirred by the potential benefits they hope to find by relocating – better weather, more leisure opportunities, lower living costs, attractive employment openings. Others see moving abroad as an escape from the unfulfilled lives they are living in their current location.

Finding Happiness

However, this desire for movement is not necessarily the path to happiness.

Yes, moving abroad can lead to a healthier, happier, richer life. But switching one country for another won’t by itself be enough. Ultimately it is an internal shift, rather than the external one, that leads to happiness and fulfilment.

Hence the importance of gratitude.

Rather than think about the things that are wrong with our lives, we should devote more attention to the things that are right.

It could be your health, or the health of your partner or children, the love of family, laughter with friends, the joy of a sunrise or waves on the beach, thanks for the food you have to eat.

Which isn’t to say you shouldn’t want to improve your current situation. It is human nature, one of the driving forces of evolution. But by stopping to give conscious thanks for those daily blessings we too often take for granted, the chances are you will be a happier person, wherever in the world you happen to find yourself.

Who could ask for a better life than that?

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Living abroad has become so much more viable as the cost of travel plummeted.

The rise of the budget airlines, and the need for other travel operators to slash prices to compete, means moving overseas is no longer the one-way journey of old.

Instead, expats within a short-haul flight of home have suddenly been able to afford to pop back for regular weekends to catch up with family and friends. And those who relocated to another continent can make their annual pilgrimage home without needing an investment banker’s salary or a second mortgage.

For those expats flying to or from the UK though, the November 1 rise in Air Passenger Duty (APD) may shift the balance.

The new rates mean a family of four flying from the UK to Europe will pay £48 in APD when travelling economy class. For journeys to the US the family will be charged £240, to the Caribbean or South Africa £300, and to fly to Australia it will cost them £340 in tax (a rise of 55%).

Add in the actual cost of the ticket, plus the inevitable wad of spending money, and face-to-face contact with old friends and family looks a lot less appealing.

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There was a documentary on British TV last week called Living with Brucie[1].

For anyone who hasn’t heard of him, Bruce Forsyth is a showbiz legend in the UK, a mainstay on Saturday prime time TV for the last 40-odd years.

And for the last 27 of those, Bruce has been married to Wilnelia, a Puerto Rican former Miss World who is 30 years his junior.

For me, what was interesting was the story of two people from different countries and cultures coming together to forge a life, and what it takes to make it a success.

Despite her fame on the Caribbean island, and the family and friends she has there, it is Winnie who has given up her homeland to be with her husband. OK, so she now lives in a mansion on the Wentworth golf estate in Surrey, with all the trappings that come from being married to a multimillionaire entertainer. But still, it must be a sacrifice.

Expat love

And it is a common tale. A survey earlier this year by health insurer Bupa International and expat web resource Expatica found one in five respondents had moved abroad for love[2]. It was a bigger reason for relocating than lifestyle choice (cited by 8% of expats), retirement (4%), weather and culture (1% each). 

There is a suggestion it may be a growing trend as well. According to the survey, only 14% of expats who moved abroad 10 years ago did it for love, whereas the figure was 22% for those who relocated in the last five years.

 

In these situations, one member of the couple will always have to be away from home and all it embodies: family and friends, familiar landscapes, its customs and culture.

Homesickness may strike, but – short of breaking up the family – one person will have to live with the consequences.

So how do you cope?

If anyone has any personal experiences from moving abroad for love, or tips and strategies on how to make it work I’d love to hear them.


[1] Living with Brucie, Channel 4, http://www.channel4.com/programmes/living-with-brucie

[2] One in five expats moves abroad for love, expatica.com, 11 February 2010, http://www.expatica.com/be/news/community_focus/One-in-five-expats-moves-abroad-for-love.html

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