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Adultery, family feuds, multimillion pound inheritances – par for the course for family life among the British aristocracy perhaps. But the Thynne family, holders of the Marquessate of Bath, are more colourful than most.
The current Lord Bath is known for his flamboyant clothing, the murals he has painted on his private apartments, and the scores of girlfriends (he used to call them “wifelets”) he has had – and made portraits of – over the years.
He is also the owner of Longleat House, the beautiful stately home in Wiltshire. Completed in 1580, it is considered one of the finest examples of Elizabethan architecture in Britain. It was also the first stately home to open to the public.
Longleat is best known though for its safari park, with its collection of lions and tigers, monkeys, rhinos and deer. The brainchild of the 6th marquess, the incumbent’s father, the safari park was opened in 1966, becoming the first such drive-through animal experience outside Africa.
Having heard so many good things about Longleat, and wanting to experience more of what England has to offer since moving back from abroad, my family and I took the opportunity to visit a couple of weeks ago.
I would have liked to trawl around the house itself, to sample the wealth of history and objets d’art on show. But having been subjected as a child to a succession of tours of grand old houses by my own parents I decided it best not to inflict the same pain on them.
Instead we enjoyed a selection of the many other activities Longleat has to offer: a ride on the miniature railway, fun time in the Adventure Castle, an exploration of the Postman Pat Village. Plus, of course, a drive around the safari park.
There was so much more we didn’t have time to see either. Still, we can save that for another visit. And I know our kids would be eager to go back.
Tags: Abroad, Bath, Britain, British, England, family, history, house, Longleat, moving, safari, stately home, Wiltshire
A couple of months ago I was interviewed by the features director of the UK’s Good Housekeeping magazine[1].
She was writing an article on the pros and cons of moving abroad, and wanted my “expert opinion” on the topic … which naturally I was more than happy to provide (not least since the magazine has a monthly circulation of half a million readers!).
The article has just come out. And – aside from my own contribution – it makes for fascinating reading.
Expat Challenges
The piece features case studies of people who have moved from the UK to some of the world’s most popular expat destinations: France, Italy, Spain, Australia and the United States. Each highlights the issues they have faced, and offers pointers to anyone following in their footsteps (much of which echoes the topics I address in my book).
Among the biggest challenges the expats encountered were:
- Housing problems
- Unfamiliarity with local legal processes and requirements
- Acclimatising to the local weather
- Finding social outlets and integrating into the community
- Having a viable way to earn money
- Missing family and friends
Hopefully the tips and advice contained in the article will prove a valuable primer for those readers also dreaming of a life overseas!
[1] Good Housekeeping magazine,
http://www.allaboutyou.com/home/channel~index?source=1
Tags: advice, Australia, community, destination, expert, family, France, Friends, Good Housekeeping, Housing, Italy, legal, life, magazine, money, Moving Abroad, overseas, social, Spain, tips, UK, United States, weather, world
At a wedding last week I got talking to a doctor within the UK’s National Health Service who is about to relocate to New Zealand.
She will be joining the thousands of doctors and nurses who have left the UK in the last decade to practice in the Antipodes. Many have gone willingly. Disenchanted by the NHS, they are eager to take up positions on the other side of the world that will be relatively better paid, and offer the lifestyle benefits that come from living in Australia or New Zealand.
The doctor I spoke to is moving for similar reasons: she can’t find a job pursuing her specialism in England, but has the chance to do so if she goes abroad. And as she has family in New Zealand already it makes the relocation that much easier.
Nevertheless, she hopes it will only be temporary, and that within five years she’ll be back in the UK, which is where she said she really wants to be.
It makes for a tricky choice – stay at home and compromise your chosen career path, or leave the country and the life you know for a better job and its future prospects.
And it is not just medics in the UK grappling with this quandary. Many people in many professions in many countries around the world face similar dilemmas.
Which would you prioritise?
Tags: Antipodes, Australia, career, country, doctor, England, family, home, job, life, Moving Abroad, National Health Service, New Zealand, profession, relocation, UK, Wedding
There was a documentary on British TV last week called Living with Brucie[1].
For anyone who hasn’t heard of him, Bruce Forsyth is a showbiz legend in the UK, a mainstay on Saturday prime time TV for the last 40-odd years.
And for the last 27 of those, Bruce has been married to Wilnelia, a Puerto Rican former Miss World who is 30 years his junior.
For me, what was interesting was the story of two people from different countries and cultures coming together to forge a life, and what it takes to make it a success.
Despite her fame on the Caribbean island, and the family and friends she has there, it is Winnie who has given up her homeland to be with her husband. OK, so she now lives in a mansion on the Wentworth golf estate in Surrey, with all the trappings that come from being married to a multimillionaire entertainer. But still, it must be a sacrifice.
Expat love
And it is a common tale. A survey earlier this year by health insurer Bupa International and expat web resource Expatica found one in five respondents had moved abroad for love[2]. It was a bigger reason for relocating than lifestyle choice (cited by 8% of expats), retirement (4%), weather and culture (1% each).
There is a suggestion it may be a growing trend as well. According to the survey, only 14% of expats who moved abroad 10 years ago did it for love, whereas the figure was 22% for those who relocated in the last five years.
In these situations, one member of the couple will always have to be away from home and all it embodies: family and friends, familiar landscapes, its customs and culture.
Homesickness may strike, but – short of breaking up the family – one person will have to live with the consequences.
So how do you cope?
If anyone has any personal experiences from moving abroad for love, or tips and strategies on how to make it work I’d love to hear them.
[1] Living with Brucie, Channel 4,
http://www.channel4.com/programmes/living-with-brucie
[2] One in five expats moves abroad for love, expatica.com, 11 February 2010, http://www.expatica.com/be/news/community_focus/One-in-five-expats-moves-abroad-for-love.html
Tags: British, Bruce Forsyth, Caribbean, countries, culture, custom, expat, family, Friends, home, homeland, lifestyle, love, Miss World, move abroad, multimillionaire, Puerto Rican, relocate, relocating, Retirement, TV, UK, weather, Wilnelia, Winnie, work
Golf, I’ve discovered, is not like riding a bike. Picking up a club for the first time in five years and expecting to smash ball after ball down the middle of the fairway was always going to be wishful thinking. I mean, if Tiger struggles with his game after months out what hope did I have?
At least the conditions were perfect. It was one of those glorious English summer evenings: the warm sun dipping towards the horizon, soft June light, shadows lengthening across the rolling green fairways, woodpigeons calling from the branches … the thwack of small white golf balls clattering into yet another copse of trees.
And, quality of play aside, it was great to get out last night for a hack round with my brothers, the first time we’d done it since before I moved to Spain seven years ago.
In fact, the last time I played was with my eldest brother, when he came to visit shortly after we moved abroad. On that occasion we tried out the Empordà Golf Resort, one of a string of top-notch courses to be found close to our home on the Costa Brava. Unfortunately, that was as far as my Spanish golf career got. Places like PGA Catalunya, which is ranked number seven in Golf World magazine’s Top 100 European courses, remain an unfulfilled dream.
For despite the fantastic facilities and ideal weather in Spain, time was always a problem.
The expat lifestyle may seem to be one of leisurely days spent drinking wine and soaking up the sun, but that isn’t the reality for most. I still had to work hard all week. And with two young daughters to look after it never seemed fair for me to slope off for five hours on the weekend to play, especially when we had no other family around to ease my wife’s childcare load.
As a result, it’s taken our repatriation to the UK for me to be able to dust off the clubs. That, and the chance to spend valuable time with my brothers, are among the plus points of moving back. If only I could have brought some of those magnificent courses with me.
Tags: Catalunya, childcare, Costa Brava, Emporda, English, expat, family, Golf, leisure, lifestyle, Spain, Spanish, summer, sun, UK, work
It was my wedding anniversary yesterday, which put me in mind of some of the good and bad aspects of living abroad.
Unlike our actual wedding day, when we were fortunate to be bathed in sunshine from dawn to dusk, yesterday saw uninterrupted grey, glowering skies. The sort of poor excuse for summer for which Britain is renowned.
But that is what the English weather holds. One day it can be glorious, when you think summer is finally here to stay; the next it is cold, wet and windy. Temperamental.
It’s not what we had become accustomed to during our years living on the Spanish Mediterranean coast, where a long summer of heat and sunshine were guaranteed, promising endless days in the pool or on the beach. Indeed, it was one of the major reasons for us moving abroad in the first place. Re-acclimatising to what England has to offer will not be easy.
The upside to repatriating to the UK is the contact it gives us with family and friends, and the support network that is now on hand.
Yesterday, for instance, my in-laws offered to babysit, giving my wife and me the chance to head off to a restaurant for the evening. It was the first time we had been able to go out to celebrate our anniversary since our children were born, as living abroad meant there was no extended family around to watch them.
Such constraints don’t affect all expats. But If you’ve been used to having parents or siblings around to lend a hand while you go to the shops or the doctor, or look after the kids while you have a well-earned night out with friends or your partner, then their sudden absence can come as a big shock. Something to consider!
Tags: beach, Britain, Children, coast, England, English, expat, family, Friends, heat, living abroad, Mediterranean, moving, parent, repatriating, Spanish, summer, sunshine, UK, weather, Wedding
Having been brought up close to London, and commuted there every day for a time, it’s easy to take the UK’s capital for granted. But having lived abroad for many years I’ve come to re-appreciate what a fantastic city it is.
As a kid, my family and I used to make regular day trips to London to take in the sights (my father worked there for British Rail, which meant we could take advantage of both free train travel and his almost encyclopaedic knowledge of the city).
We went everywhere, visiting many of its most famous sights: we had trips to the Natural History and Imperial War Museums, to Hampton Court Palace, Kew Gardens and the Greenwich Observatory, saw Buckingham Palace and the Crown Jewels in the Tower of London, had tours of Tower Bridge and HMS Belfast, Madame Tussauds and the London Planetarium. They were great days, and have left me with wonderful memories.
So it was exciting to take my daughters to London last week for their first visit.
With youngsters it’s easy to attempt to do too much – London is such a big city, and has such a wealth of things to see, that you can get carried away. So we tried to keep it simple.
First stop, Buckingham Palace. Brought up on a diet of Disney princesses, it seemed appropriate we should show them a bit of real-life royalty. So we duly joined the hordes of tourists by the gates and admired the palace frontage and watchful guards. No sign of a tiara-ed monarch though.
We then caught one of London’s famous red buses up to Regent’s Park to reach London Zoo. It’s been decades since I was last there, and I only had a vague memory of the place. It’s hard not to wonder if you’re doing the right thing when you see some of the animals in such confined spaces, especially the lions and tigers. But there is the valuable conservation work the Zoo undertakes. And you have to hope such visits are fostering an interest in, and appreciation for, the natural world among all those delighted children.
And the best bit of the day for our kids? Well, there was seeing the gorillas. But I sense the £2 bus ride just edges it!
Tags: Abroad, Buckingham Palace, city, family, Greenwich, Hampton Court, Kew, London, London Zoo, Madame Tussauds, museum, Planetarium, Regent’s Park, royalty, UK
November 5 doesn’t mean much to most people around the world. Here, in our home in Spain, it’s just another workday.
However, in the UK it is one of the major events of the calendar – Guy Fawkes Night (also called Bonfire Night).
It commemorates the discovery of the Gunpowder Plot in 1605, when a group of leading Catholics planned to blow up the Houses of Parliament in an attempt to assassinate King James I and replace him with a Catholic monarch. Guy Fawkes was supposed to execute the plot, but was discovered in a cellar underneath Parliament along with the gunpowder.
Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: Children, family, fiesta, home, living abroad, Spain, tradition, UK
As if you needed any reminding, it’s Thanksgiving in the States today.
It’s a celebration that I always viewed with a degree of envy as a boy growing up in England, something else to look forward to in those interminable months between the end of summer and the fever of Christmas. And what a great tradition – lots of hearty food shared with the family, and then licence to spend the rest of the day lazing in front of the television.
So although it felt almost like a betrayal to my nationality to be doing so, when I moved to New York at the turn of the millennium I determined to take part in the festivities. We braved the freezing temperatures with the thousands of other people to watch the inflatables bob down Central Park West, and then returned to our apartment to cook up a passing resemblance to the traditional feast that would be laid on millions of tables across the States.
Unfortunately my wife had come down with flu the night before, so it wasn’t the liveliest occasion. But just being off work and sampling the experience in the flesh was good enough.
So I can see why for the millions of expat Americans around the world this is a day when homesickness is at its keenest. It is, after all, a peculiarly American holiday that is meant to be shared with your nearest and dearest.
Still, while it’s a day to miss home, it’s also a day for gratitude for all the things you do have, right here and right now, wherever that happens to be.
And so in some small way I too have been trying to appropriate this tradition by remembering those things for which I can truly be grateful: my wife and daughters, my health and theirs, the love of family and friends, having a roof over my head and food to eat, having the opportunity to live in Spain and experience first hand and in detail a different culture, with all its joys and frustrations.
Plenty to give thanks for I feel.
Tags: American, England, expat, family, festivities, holiday, homesickness, New York, Spain, States, Thanksgiving, tradition
We had some friends come to visit last Saturday. They were on holiday in France, a couple of hours up the road, and so took the opportunity to drive across the border into our corner of northern Spain to see us for the day.
Last time they did the same journey they got held up for hours in traffic and shortly after they arrived we were hit by a massive thunderstorm. This time though the journey was quick and the sky cloudless. After they arrived we all went in our pool for an hour. Their three young children thought it was marvellous – a pool in the back garden!
Afterwards we had a long lunch. And then later in the afternoon, when the sun had dipped a little, we strolled along to the beach, where we swam and built sandcastles with the children.
Both sets of kids played nicely together all day and had a wonderful time. As did we adults. At the end of the day the parents turned to us and said, “You have a great life here.”
They were right. We know it. That’s why we moved here in the first place, for the long sunny summers, to have the Mediterranean on our doorstep.
For our friends it was a perfect holiday day: the sun, the warmth, the pool, the beach. By contrast, for us it was a pretty normal Saturday. No doubt we’ll be doing something similar this weekend.
And our choice of location has been reaffirmed all week. Each day has dawned bright and clear. It’s been relentless sunshine and baking temperatures.
Britain, meanwhile, has been enjoying its traditional August weather: rainy, windy and cold.
There is a downside though to this ‘idyllic’ existence, and that shone through the day after our friends were here. At breakfast our three-year old asked: “When can we see them again? I miss them already.”
And, of course, we do too. Whenever we get together with them we have fun. If we were in England they would be among our closest friends. But we’re not. Instead we see them once a year at best, more often once every two years.
And that’s the pattern of our life. It seems we, and our young daughters, are always saying goodbye to the people we love: my wife’s parents, our siblings, nieces and nephews and friends. And our daughters wonder why.
Yes, we do have a great lifestyle here. It’s all the things we wanted. If only our family and friends would move over too! Then it would be complete.
But that’s not going to happen. So instead there is a choice: a great lifestyle in one place, or family and dear friends in another.
Tags: beach, Britain, family, France, lifestyle, Mediterranean, pool, Spain, summer, sun, weather
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