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Thanksgiving and the Search for Happiness Abroad

November 25, 2010 in Dream Lifestyle, Moving Abroad Tips by Paul Allen | No comments

Do animals get grumpy?

Are there certain days when your cat or dog is more irritable than others? Do creatures in the wild go through mood swings? Or is it just humans?

I ask because I read this week about Cathal Morrow, an author living in Madrid. Back in June he embarked on a quest to live for a year without unhappiness, in an attempt to prove happiness is merely a state of mind.

 

As he writes on his blog, http://imhappyandiknowit.com/:

“What I’m attempting to live is my belief that happiness is entirely independent of the highs and lows of my little life, that it’s far bigger than me. That happiness is a permanent state for us all, if only we allow it to be.”

Being happy. We’re all looking for it, aren’t we?

Yet that appears to be the root of the problem. We’re searching for it, as if happiness is a destination that will be reached once we’ve got X, Y and Z in place.

Thanksgiving

It’s an important issue, brought into focus by this week’s Thanksgiving celebrations in the United States.

While it began as a festival giving thanks for the year’s harvest, Thanksgiving has since developed into a more general expression of gratitude.

And therein lies Mr Morrow’s secret to happiness – a determination to see the everyday brightness in life and be happy for it.

Seeking a better life

Which brings me to moving abroad.

Why is it so many people around the world – including millions of citizens in some of the most prosperous countries on the planet – want to relocate elsewhere?

For most people the interest is spurred by a desire to find a “better life,” whatever their definition may be.

Many are stirred by the potential benefits they hope to find by relocating – better weather, more leisure opportunities, lower living costs, attractive employment openings. Others see moving abroad as an escape from the unfulfilled lives they are living in their current location.

Finding Happiness

However, this desire for movement is not necessarily the path to happiness.

Yes, moving abroad can lead to a healthier, happier, richer life. But switching one country for another won’t by itself be enough. Ultimately it is an internal shift, rather than the external one, that leads to happiness and fulfilment.

Hence the importance of gratitude.

Rather than think about the things that are wrong with our lives, we should devote more attention to the things that are right.

It could be your health, or the health of your partner or children, the love of family, laughter with friends, the joy of a sunrise or waves on the beach, thanks for the food you have to eat.

Which isn’t to say you shouldn’t want to improve your current situation. It is human nature, one of the driving forces of evolution. But by stopping to give conscious thanks for those daily blessings we too often take for granted, the chances are you will be a happier person, wherever in the world you happen to find yourself.

Who could ask for a better life than that?

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British Summer

August 13, 2010 in Expat Advantages, Living in Britain by Paul Allen | No comments

Spain 30 – England 20.

No, it’s not some freakish football score. It’s the current temperature differential between our home in the UK and our former one in the north-east of Spain.

The forecast for the coming week in England doesn’t look much more promising either. Temperatures barely struggling out of the teens centigrade, and the threat of heavy rain showers. Yippee.

Remind me – why did we move back to the UK?

Sort of summer

Still, that’s a British summer for you.  The odd few days of glorious sunshine, when there seems like no more beautiful place to be on Earth, followed by leaden skies and rain squalls.

It’s a season of uncertainty – periods of joy mixed with gloom. One day you’re in shorts and sandals and the next it’s jumpers and coats.

As for making plans to enjoy the Great Outdoors … in the words of Hugh Grant in Mickey Blue Eyes, Forgeddaboutit.

In other words, hardly ideal conditions when you have kids who want to be spending their days building sandcastles on the beach, or splashing around in a pool.

(For that matter, have you swum in the sea around Britain recently? Are you crazy?)

Sunshine costs

Nevertheless, seeing the BBC News reminded me that the scorching summers seen across southern Europe and elsewhere do have their downsides.

For instance, parts of the Spanish coast are being plagued at present by an invasion of jellyfish, to the painful detriment of the people that have come in contact with them.

Meanwhile, swathes of northern Portugal are being cremated by a series of forest fires, an annual occurrence in many parts of the region.

There is, after all, a price to be paid for the sun.

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Looking for Quality of Life?

June 4, 2010 in Expat Locations by Paul Allen | No comments

Having just come back from a conference in Vienna I got a little reminder of what the Austrian capital has to offer.

As a leading centre of European culture for hundreds of years, it is a city steeped in history and beauty. In spite of the bombing endured in World War II, Vienna remains an architectural delight – so much so that in 2001 the city centre was designated a UNESCO World Heritage Site. There are also world-class museums, fine parks, a rich musical tradition, and a multitude of wonderful cafes and restaurants.

Quality of Life Survey

I wasn’t surprised, therefore, to learn that Vienna claimed the top spot in the Mercer 2010 Quality of Life Survey, released last week[1].

The survey evaluates 420 cities worldwide, assessing the living conditions across 10 categories, which include the political and social environment, the economic environment, health and sanitation, schools and education, and recreation.

Having also come first in Mercer’s 2009 survey, it seems Vienna is cementing its status as the city offering the world’s best quality of life.

Meanwhile, Europe as a whole had 16 cities amongst the top 25 in the world. It underlines just how much the continent has to offer for prospective expats.

Happy Living

So what does all this mean for expatriates? Well, it is a useful guide into the ease of life you can expect to find when moving abroad to a new city.

For instance, while in Vienna a couple of weeks ago I got talking to two guys – one from Spain, the other from Colombia – who have both moved to Geneva. Their comments about the life they lead there certainly chime with its 3rd-place ranking in the Mercer survey.

But when looking at reports like Mercer’s there are a couple of provisos to bear in mind:

1)      By their nature, such considerations as quality of life are subjective. Mercer goes to great pains to compile valid statistical comparisons across its 10 life assessment categories. But these won’t necessarily mirror your judgements or priorities. (Furthermore, you may not even want to move to a foreign city, but instead plan to be by the beach or in the rural hinterland, where the situation may be very different to the country’s urban centres.)

2)      Quality of life ? happiness – it may be a contributor, and an important one, but happiness comes from a broader range of factors.

But that’s a topic for another time.

[1] Mercer 2010 Quality of Living Survey, released 26 May 2010 , http://www.mercer.com/qualityoflivingpr#City_Ranking_Tables

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Living Abroad and the Joys of Family Support

June 2, 2010 in Living Abroad Pros and Cons by Paul Allen | No comments

It was my wedding anniversary yesterday, which put me in mind of some of the good and bad aspects of living abroad.

Unlike our actual wedding day, when we were fortunate to be bathed in sunshine from dawn to dusk, yesterday saw uninterrupted grey, glowering skies. The sort of poor excuse for summer for which Britain is renowned.

But that is what the English weather holds. One day it can be glorious, when you think summer is finally here to stay; the next it is cold, wet and windy. Temperamental.

It’s not what we had become accustomed to during our years living on the Spanish Mediterranean coast, where a long summer of heat and sunshine were guaranteed, promising endless days in the pool or on the beach. Indeed, it was one of the major reasons for us moving abroad in the first place. Re-acclimatising to what England has to offer will not be easy.

The upside to repatriating to the UK is the contact it gives us with family and friends, and the support network that is now on hand.

Yesterday, for instance, my in-laws offered to babysit, giving my wife and me the chance to head off to a restaurant for the evening. It was the first time we had been able to go out to celebrate our anniversary since our children were born, as living abroad meant there was no extended family around to watch them.

Such constraints don’t affect all expats. But If you’ve been used to having parents or siblings around to lend a hand while you go to the shops or the doctor, or look after the kids while you have a well-earned night out with friends or your partner, then their sudden absence can come as a big shock. Something to consider!

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The Cost of Living Abroad

August 15, 2008 in Dream Lifestyle by Paul Allen | No comments

We had some friends come to visit last Saturday. They were on holiday in France, a couple of hours up the road, and so took the opportunity to drive across the border into our corner of northern Spain to see us for the day.

 

Last time they did the same journey they got held up for hours in traffic and shortly after they arrived we were hit by a massive thunderstorm. This time though the journey was quick and the sky cloudless. After they arrived we all went in our pool for an hour. Their three young children thought it was marvellous – a pool in the back garden!

 

Afterwards we had a long lunch. And then later in the afternoon, when the sun had dipped a little, we strolled along to the beach, where we swam and built sandcastles with the children.

 

Both sets of kids played nicely together all day and had a wonderful time. As did we adults. At the end of the day the parents turned to us and said, “You have a great life here.”

 

They were right. We know it. That’s why we moved here in the first place, for the long sunny summers, to have the Mediterranean on our doorstep.

 

For our friends it was a perfect holiday day: the sun, the warmth, the pool, the beach. By contrast, for us it was a pretty normal Saturday. No doubt we’ll be doing something similar this weekend.

 

And our choice of location has been reaffirmed all week. Each day has dawned bright and clear. It’s been relentless sunshine and baking temperatures.

 

Britain, meanwhile, has been enjoying its traditional August weather: rainy, windy and cold.

 

There is a downside though to this ‘idyllic’ existence, and that shone through the day after our friends were here. At breakfast our three-year old asked: “When can we see them again? I miss them already.”

 

And, of course, we do too. Whenever we get together with them we have fun. If we were in England they would be among our closest friends. But we’re not. Instead we see them once a year at best, more often once every two years.

 

And that’s the pattern of our life. It seems we, and our young daughters, are always saying goodbye to the people we love: my wife’s parents, our siblings, nieces and nephews and friends. And our daughters wonder why.

 

Yes, we do have a great lifestyle here. It’s all the things we wanted. If only our family and friends would move over too! Then it would be complete.

 

But that’s not going to happen. So instead there is a choice: a great lifestyle in one place, or family and dear friends in another.

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Holiday Season

July 4, 2008 in Living in Spain by Paul Allen | No comments

So we’ve hit July, which marks the high summer season on the Spanish costas, and indeed all round the Mediterranean.

 

The beginning of the month sees the start of the school holidays in France, and so we get the French influx as people hop across the border. They are followed by ever growing numbers of Dutch and Belgians and Germans. Then, at the end of July, the Brits start to roll in. And once we get into August it’s the Spaniards, many of whom stick to tradition and have the whole month as vacation.

 

From now through to August 31 the beaches will be packed, the restaurants and bars mobbed, the roads chock full of cars with foreign plates driven by people who haven’t a clue where they’re going.

 

It’s both a boost and a bane.

 

I hate the fact that I can’t even get in the car park at the local supermarket, and that the check-out queues will stretch back to the ends of the aisles. That the idyllic and almost deserted beachside pathway we stroll along most days out of season will become so crowded that there’s now a 50-50 chance of getting run over by a cyclist or out of control roller-blader.

 

But I like the life the summer, and its tourists, bring to the place. Like so many coastal places, our little fishing town can be somewhat ghostly through the winter. But in summer it’s pulsing.

 

And of course we get to enjoy the blessed golden days and balmy nights that attract the tourists in the first place. It’s the price, I suppose, of paradise.

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