Dream Lifestyle

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Priorities are powerful forces … assuming you’ve got them in the right order. And keeping them there requires continual monitoring.

So what are your priorities?

Most of us – myself included – get batted around like a pinball from one activity to the next. Our days are spent finishing up that urgent project at work for which the boss is breathing down our necks … seeing to the needs of our kids … phoning parents to check how they are … dashing to the shops to pick up a last-minute birthday present.

We go to bed exhausted, only to get up tomorrow and do it all over again. Lives spent scuttling from one weekend to the next, firefighting whatever today’s most pressing need happens to be.

But what about that life you’d really like to be leading? The one you keep nestled somewhere close to your heart?

We all have one, don’t we? That ‘if I won the Lottery …’ vision of how things would be in a perfect world. Where you’d like to live. How you’d like to spend your time. And with whom. The long-term dream.

Making that vision reality though takes consistent action, and time. Progressive, daily steps. And to do anything on a daily basis means prioritising.

It’s something with which I still struggle. But by persevering it’s starting to pay off. In fact I’m feeling pretty good, for I’ve finally finished revising and proofing the print version of my book on the pros and cons of moving abroad. It is now with the printer, the last step before public release next week!

It’s not been easy mind.

As with so many other people around the world, it’s been a tough 18 months.

The financial crisis has forced me to scramble for work like never before. And outside of the long work hours are my commitments as a husband and father.

As a result, it’s not always easy to find time to do the ‘non-urgent’ writing I really want, the books and screenplays that one day I hope will be my full-time occupation.

I realised though that unless I made the time, prioritised the writing in my day, it would never get done. And my dreams of being an author would go the same way.

It’s the same in all aspects of life. We all have to find time to pursue our dreams, whatever they are.

If you want to learn the piano it’s never going to happen unless you sit at the keyboard on a regular basis – preferably every day – and hammer out the notes.

How are you ever going to get your golf handicap down if you don’t go to the driving range, or get out on the course?

Ditto moving abroad. There may never be a great time to up-sticks. There are always other financial pressures, kids about to change schools, new job promotions in the offing. Valid obstacles that keep you from taking action, from grabbing that life you want.

But that’s the choice you must make. You have to seize the moment – take the requisite steps, however small, and make progress. Without it, your life will never become what you want it to be.

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November 5 doesn’t mean much to most people around the world. Here, in our home in Spain, it’s just another workday.

However, in the UK it is one of the major events of the calendar – Guy Fawkes Night (also called Bonfire Night).

It commemorates the discovery of the Gunpowder Plot in 1605, when a group of leading Catholics planned to blow up the Houses of Parliament in an attempt to assassinate King James I and replace him with a Catholic monarch. Guy Fawkes was supposed to execute the plot, but was discovered in a cellar underneath Parliament along with the gunpowder.

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Mid October and it was already down to -2 degrees centigrade this morning. Daytime highs at the moment are struggling to reach 5C.

Not in my balmy corner of Spain, I hasten to add. In Norway.

I was conducting a phone interview with a banking executive in Oslo this morning, and this is the weather report she gave me.

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Many years ago I read Peter Mayle’s classic A Year in Provence.

At the time I remember thinking ‘Blimey, that’s the life.’ Writing a few hours a day and then trailing around the French countryside the rest of the time.

Hardly a deep, or unique reaction I know. Everyone thought the same, which was why the book went on to sell so many copies and turned Peter Mayle into a rich and famous man.

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Ernest Hemingway, Tom Wolfe, Bill Bryson … the list of successful authors who started their writing careers in journalism is a long and illustrious one.

Like so many other journalists, I too have been dreaming of that publishing deal that would set me on the road to literary fortune. In fact, my journalistic career was more happenstance than design, a by-product of my early book writing efforts, rather than the other way around.

The impulse to write has been with me since my exercise book-filled scribbles at infants’ school. But it wasn’t until a backpacking trip around Spain with my wife in 1997 that I took the all-important step, and committed to become a writer. And that means consistently putting pen to paper.

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A special treat today – I’m joined by fellow expat author Mike Harling, whose wonderfully-funny Postcards From Across the Pond is a must-read for anyone dreaming of a life abroad, wherever you are and wherever you may be going. Mike is finishing up his virtual tour promoting the book, so without further ado I’ll hand over. Mike …

Mike Harling - author of Postcards From Across the Pond

Mike Harling - author of Postcards From Across the Pond

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We had some friends come to visit last Saturday. They were on holiday in France, a couple of hours up the road, and so took the opportunity to drive across the border into our corner of northern Spain to see us for the day.

 

Last time they did the same journey they got held up for hours in traffic and shortly after they arrived we were hit by a massive thunderstorm. This time though the journey was quick and the sky cloudless. After they arrived we all went in our pool for an hour. Their three young children thought it was marvellous – a pool in the back garden!

 

Afterwards we had a long lunch. And then later in the afternoon, when the sun had dipped a little, we strolled along to the beach, where we swam and built sandcastles with the children.

 

Both sets of kids played nicely together all day and had a wonderful time. As did we adults. At the end of the day the parents turned to us and said, “You have a great life here.”

 

They were right. We know it. That’s why we moved here in the first place, for the long sunny summers, to have the Mediterranean on our doorstep.

 

For our friends it was a perfect holiday day: the sun, the warmth, the pool, the beach. By contrast, for us it was a pretty normal Saturday. No doubt we’ll be doing something similar this weekend.

 

And our choice of location has been reaffirmed all week. Each day has dawned bright and clear. It’s been relentless sunshine and baking temperatures.

 

Britain, meanwhile, has been enjoying its traditional August weather: rainy, windy and cold.

 

There is a downside though to this ‘idyllic’ existence, and that shone through the day after our friends were here. At breakfast our three-year old asked: “When can we see them again? I miss them already.”

 

And, of course, we do too. Whenever we get together with them we have fun. If we were in England they would be among our closest friends. But we’re not. Instead we see them once a year at best, more often once every two years.

 

And that’s the pattern of our life. It seems we, and our young daughters, are always saying goodbye to the people we love: my wife’s parents, our siblings, nieces and nephews and friends. And our daughters wonder why.

 

Yes, we do have a great lifestyle here. It’s all the things we wanted. If only our family and friends would move over too! Then it would be complete.

 

But that’s not going to happen. So instead there is a choice: a great lifestyle in one place, or family and dear friends in another.

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I saw with sadness that Sydney Pollack died earlier in the week. Not that I knew him to feel a sense of personal loss. Rather it was a sadness stemming from the passing of someone who made such a wonderful contribution to the world of film.

 

Coincidentally I had watched Michael Clayton, which Pollack produced and acted in, only the night before. The story follows the struggles of two men, the eponymous hero (played by George Clooney) and his colleague, lawyer Arthur Edens, who are caught up in a class-action lawsuit against an agrochemical production company. Both feel trapped in their current situations. Both desperately want to change their lives, to make them better, to be the people they want to be.

 

It seems a fitting testament to Pollack. While he may not have had the public status of the likes of a Clooney or Spielberg, in the industry he was a highly-regarded and influential director and producer. And as George Clooney’s tribute put it: “Sydney made the world a little better, movies a little better and even dinner a little better.”

 

Could any of us hope for a better eulogy? To feel perhaps we’ve contributed in some small way to making the world a better place, to have pursued our dreams and ideals in our careers and lives, and to have brought some happiness to the people around us along the way.

 

So think about what it is that you truly want for your life. What would make you feel happy and fulfilled? Perhaps it’s that move abroad you’ve been dreaming about. Or a new job. Whatever it is, now is the time to shoot for it. Sure it may take a struggle, but aren’t the rewards worth fighting for? After all, it is your life.

 

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